Cement Clouds with Silver Linings

I've been looking down a lot today, suddenly aware of all the imperfections below me.
I'm stuck in my head.
I'm sad today.
The type of sadness that can sometimes be mistaken for tiredness.
Maybe it's just exhaustion. Physical, emotional, the like.
It's times like these that put into perspective how far I've come in my journey through depression. It's times like these I remember a time when I never looked up.

I've been looking down a lot today, I am able to notice that in comparison to looking up.
Must mean I'm getting somewhere.
Once so used to looking down, that looking up took me by surprise.
Now it's the opposite.
I spend so much time with my chin up, I notice when it's down.

I've been looking down a lot today, standing in the bookstore only seeing the bottom shelves.
I wonder how many people take the time to bend down and skim the books on the bottom?
I did today.
A spine stuck out a little further than the rest, Kerouac, obviously out of place.
"You'll Be Okay" by Jack's wife.
It was the first sign of hope today, sometimes looking down pays off.

I've been looking down a lot today, suddenly aware of all the imperfections below me.
I'm sad today.
The type that envelops you, engulfs you, swallows you whole.
I'm in the belly of the whale in search for a way out.
The only way is up.

I looked up today, suddenly aware that the sadness never stays.  
I marveled at the brisk end of December around me, and took in the hopes of a new year.
A happier year.
I looked up today, surrounded by a sky of grey clouds all patched with silver linings.