how do you feel, whats your condition

I have nothing to say.

Hell, we all know that’s a lie.

Correction: I no longer feel like people want to hear what I have to say, therefore, I dont say it.

There we go KP, you’re on the right track.

I feel like a broken record, always writing about not writing.

Maybe I’m just fucking broken.

I don’t dislike my life, or my station, or my human.

I just dislike me.

I used to thrive on creative chaos.

I used to thrive off of anything and everything that made me feel.

I ignore my feelings nowadays.

I live in the land of avoidance and self denial.

I want to break things a lot.

I hold a lot in

more than I’d openly admit to anyone but a stranger on the street.

I am more self critical than I have ever been

was it because I spent two years defending the things I love?

Did I stop loving them because defense got tiring?

I threw in the towel

call it quits

gave up on me

and kept giving up every day

get up

give up

get up

give up

It’s no wonder I cant write anything

I don’t believe in myself anymore

I don’t believe I’m a writer anymore.

I hate this version of me.

John green says that the only way out of the labryth is through

I’m stuck in the middle of this god forsaken corn maze playing with leaves.

Getting through was getting hard, so I sat down and gave up.

I’m a quitter.

I’m a fucking quitter.

I quit on the piece of me that makes me feel alive

the piece that makes me feel useful in this world

I actively waste a gift because I’m too lazy to put in the work.

I allow my brain to think I have nothing useful to say.

I guess I’ll say something now.

I hate everything.

27 year olds can still feel sad.