seeking a great perhaps

“Francois Rabelais. He was a poet. And his last words were "I go to seek a Great Perhaps." That's why I'm going. So I don't have to wait until I die to start seeking a Great Perhaps.”

-John Green, Looking for Alaska

I read the book for the first time five years ago. I remember finishing it in my car after my last final as a high schooler crying because I related to the story so much. I had lost a classmate that year, and for the first time in what seemed like ages I actually connected with the words written on the page. This is what stuck with me. Seeking a great perhaps, a grander maybe. Thats what I want to do. I want to seek out the unknown and see what life has to offer. I want to explore, create, invoke, love.  I want to be to someone what John Green is to me. I think that's why I continue to write even when I feel like giving up. Because for a moment back in my high school parking lot alone, I didn't feel alone. And that right there is a beautiful feeling. To feel so connected to a piece of literature that it silences the echo inside that screams "no one understands."