Whenever you move somewhere new, whether you've been there a million times or not, there is the inevitable adjustment period. The time in which your brain does crazy things trying to get used to where you are and shed the feeling of where you were before. I am two weeks into this period, and there are days I love and hate the decision to pack my life and move 900 miles away from home. See, I know culture exists here somewhere, but I guess I have been so used to being surrounded by the big city, I didn't anticipate the boredom that is my life right now.
The adjustment period is hard, people. A lot harder than I thought it would be simply because everything here is different. I didn't up and move to New York, to a big city similar to where I came from. I chose small town in the middle of nowhere to be closer to family I rarely see because with my one hour work commute and my two dollar pay cut I cant afford it. I weigh pros and cons of this decision on the daily. Like did I make the right choice venturing out of the city life to give good old country life a shot? Or was I kidding myself thinking that this place could hold potential and happiness?
I am sitting in an independent coffee house I heard about through a coworker and I can honestly say this is the most at home I've felt in my new home. I don't feel at home in my home, I don't feel at home at my place of employment, but somehow in the midst of this giant coffee house, I feel a little more at peace. A little less heavy, a little less like this was the worst decision I've ever made. My mom laughs at me, tells me I need to give it more time, and she's probably right. But what do you do when you aren't excited about where you are? How long until this adjustment period is over and the answer is clear? Or is it clear already? I don't even know anymore.
So, this isn't a typical post, theres no big lesson, or some sort of realization. More or less my insecure and worried brain manifesting to show you that everyone feels a little unsure at times. I live in the unsure currently, but I know that if I change the outlook I may be able to salvage this move into something beautiful.
If I don't let my mind eat me alive before then.
ta ta for now friends.