The thoughts that float through my brain don't make a lick of sense, but at the same time they make the most sense I think they have in ages. I want so much out of this life, and I feel like that helps and hinders me. It is good because I know there is more to me than this, but bad because I overwhelm myself with the possibilities of life to a point where I retreat and don't want to be involved with life at all. I want to do so much, be so much. I want to make a difference but I don't know how. How do I push myself to be the change I wish to see in the world? How do I assist others in making positives out of their negatives, how do I help them turn their trials into triumphs? I try with my writing but how do I get heard, how do I make my difference and leave my mark on the world?
I thought I wanted to be this beautifully published author, which I do, but thats not all I want. I want more. I want to do more, and be more. But I am stuck at the how part. How do I motivate myself? How do I push myself to get out of bed, what makes this all worth it?
I am on a journey to figure out what I can put into life and see what life can give me in return. I think I may start by reimplementing little victories. This morning, although I woke before my alarm and couldnt go back to sleep, I looked up at my ceiling and smiled because I greeted a new day. And it may have been only an okay morning, I made it to work early, and I get to sit and write this. I get to unwind before tackling the next big task of the day. I didnt waste my morning pretending to sleep, I got up, chased my dog, drank some coffee, spent quality time with my brother, and arrived at work with a positive outlook. Things will look up from here. Things have to, thats the only way we live and not just survive. By looking at the small tasks of my daily life and tackling them with grace, I can move forward and prepare myself for the big things. I can look forward to whats to come, and take it all head on.
Cheers to little victories, finding happiness, and living the good life.