Neil Gaiman once said,
“If you only write when inspired, you may be a fairly decent poet, but you’ll never be a novelist”
That stuck with me all morning. I spend so much time searching for inspiration because I feel its the only thing than can fuel great prose. But I am finding out that seeking inspiration only delays the writing process. I am realizing that it is okay to write crap, because its easier to edit a full page of terrible writing vs. an empty one. Empty pages house no progress. I need to learn to accept that. Rationalize that I need to write every day, even when I’m not feeling it. It's during those times that some of the most beautiful words happen. Somewhere amongst the terrible string of sentences you come across a thought and that thought becomes something worth continuing. I had a friend ask me why I wasn't confident in my writing. And I didn't know how to reply. I guess we really are our own worst critics.
He reminded me that what I create means something, and that I need to be confident in that.
I am learning a lot about myself, my writing, my life. What I want and don't want, what I need and what I can do for others. I am putting together a life here. I thought for sure I would be caught endlessly in the idea that I am leaving. Well, I think I may just stay awhile, see what Chicago has in store for me.